Ah, Ubisoft Forward, the annual extravaganza where hope springs eternal for gamers and cynicism reaches its peak for us Gen Xers. It’s like Christmas, but instead of socks, we get promises that might never come true.
The Hollywood Chamber Orchestra kicked things off with a Star Wars number, and I must admit, it was more enthralling than watching paint dry. Bravo, maestro! You’ve successfully set a high bar for the evening, which, let’s be honest, isn’t saying much.
Then, we were thrust into the pixelated universe of Star Wars: Outlaws. The graphics? Cleaner than a whistle on a health inspector’s visit. The soundtrack? A symphony of nostalgia, hitting all the right notes, making you feel like you’re part of the Skywalker family reunion – minus the awkward conversations about dad’s past as a Sith Lord.
But here’s the rub – it’s an open world. Ah, the open world – gaming’s answer to “I can’t be bothered to craft a compelling narrative, so go make your own fun.” I’m not a fan, if you couldn’t tell. Yet, despite my aversion to digital wanderlust, I can’t deny the allure of this intergalactic eye-candy. It’s like being offered a trip to Mars; you know it’s going to be a barren hellscape, but you’re curious.
For those who enjoy pre-ordering potential heartbreak, you’re in luck! Star Wars Outlaws is up for grabs, and it’s as tempting as a double bacon cheeseburger to a man on a diet. It’s set to drop faster than the Empire’s reputation on August 30th.
Moving on, we’ve got the GSK faction making a grand entrance in Xdefiant. Full reveal on July 1st, they say. Mark your calendars, or don’t – I’m not your mum.
Skull and Bones is next on the chopping block. It’s gaining popularity, which is a shocker, considering it’s about as exciting as watching a documentary on the migratory patterns of sea snails. But hey, if you’re into that, more power to you.
And then there’s Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown. It’s got content updates coming out of its ears for its 35th anniversary. Mask of Darkness? Check. Rogue Prince of Persia? Check. Early access content updates? Double-check. It’s like they’re throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks – and I’m here with my popcorn, watching it slide down.
Lastly, they had a teaser for Sands of Time. Coming in 2026, they say. I’ll believe it when I see it, Ubisoft. Until then, I’ll be over here, growing old gracefully and skeptically.
The Avatar segment dazzled us with visuals so stunning, they almost made me forget the existential dread of Monday mornings. The upcoming expansion promises more blue people and lush greenery than a Smurf convention in the Amazon.
Then there’s The Crew Motorfest season 4, revving up for a July release. They’re teasing us with more content in season 5, including a new island. Because what we need is more virtual real estate to remind us of the property we can’t afford in real life. And let’s not forget those ‘Made in Japan’ rides – sleek, efficient, and probably more reliable than my last relationship.
Anno 117 Pax Romana gave us a sneak peek. It’s a historical strategy game that lets you rewrite history, because who doesn’t want to give Caesar a mohawk?
And of course, it wouldn’t be Ubisoft Forward without Assassin’s Creed. AC: Shadows graced us with an extended gameplay look, and I must say, it’s more polished than a politician’s smile. You can pet the dog, folks. That’s right, amidst the bloodshed and historical inaccuracies, there’s a canine oasis of calm.
Graphically, it’s a feast for the eyes, with character designs that scream ‘I took art history seriously’. The voice acting is as sharp as a tack, and the soundtrack could make a grown man weep. The action? It’s like ballet with blades, and as bloody as a Tarantino flick on fast-forward.
The storyline has hooks, and you can play missions as different characters, which is about as innovative as putting pineapple on pizza. But I’m intrigued. I want to see how my choices play out, like a choose-your-own-adventure book, but with more stabbing.
So, there you have it. Ubisoft Forward has come and gone, leaving us with trailers, teasers, and the tiniest glimmer of hope. Will these games deliver? Or will they be as disappointing as a decaf coffee? Only time will tell. But for now, I’m cautiously optimistic, like a cat eyeing a bathtub.
Until next time, keep your expectations low and your controllers charged.
Gamergrin Chronicle 
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