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Alright, listen up you lot, because it’s time to talk about getting fleeced worse than a tourist in Piccadilly Circus. That’s right, we’re diving into the murky sales practices of Valve and their cash cow, Steam. Apparently, our mates across the pond, a cool 14 million of them, have been getting royally rogered on game prices, to the tune of a whopping £656 million!

Blimey, that’s enough dosh to buy everyone in Cornwall a pasty the size of their house (and probably a therapy session to deal with the after-effects). The culprit? That 30% slice Valve takes from every game purchase. Apparently, it’s not enough to keep the servers running with hamster wheels powered by happy thoughts – they need Scrooge McDuck levels of coin.

Now, some right posh bird named Vicki Shotbolt, a champion of digital rights or something, is saying this whole thing stinks worse than a week-old server sock. She reckons Valve’s been “rigging the market” and “taking advantage” of us poor sods. Well, no kidding, love! Anyone who’s ever bought a game on Steam knows the prices are enough to make your wallet weep.

But hey, at least Gabe Newell can afford a new yacht shaped like a giant middle finger pointed directly at gamers, right?Here’s the thing, folks: This isn’t the first time Steam’s been caught with its hand in the cookie jar. Devs have been moaning about this 30% cut for ages, and Epic Games even started their own store to give creators a fairer deal.

The whole situation is a right shambles. Here we have a company practically holding the PC gaming market hostage, then shoving a price tag up our collective backside. It’s about time someone said enough is enough. So, what are we gonna do about it? Well, besides stockpiling virtual pitchforks and storming Valve HQ (not the worst idea, mind you), we can keep the pressure on. Support devs who speak out, boycott those crazy high prices, and maybe even consider alternative storefronts.

Remember, gamers – united we bargain, divided we get fleeced for overpriced pixels. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go drown my sorrows in a lukewarm cuppa tea and a game of something that doesn’t cost the national treasure.