Ladies and gents, gather ’round, for I’ve got the scoop on the mythical beast known as the PlayStation 6. Now, before you start throwing your hard-earned quid at the screen, let’s have a chinwag about what this future box of tricks might hold.

First off, the release date. Word on the street is we’re looking at a post-2027 drop. That’s right, you’ve got enough time to actually finish your PS5 backlog. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

Performance-wise, Sony’s promising us the moon on a stick. We’re talking higher frame rates that’ll make your eyes water, ray-tracing that’ll have you seeing your reflection in a puddle in-game, and 8K resolution so you can count every pixel on your character’s face. Overkill? Maybe. But who doesn’t want to see every pore on Kratos’ nose?

Design? If it’s anything like the PS5, you’ll need to hire an architect to fit it into your living room. But hey, it’s not about fitting in; it’s about standing out. Or so my mum tells me.

Features are where it gets juicy. We’re likely to see VR that’ll trick you into thinking you’ve left your sofa, cloud gaming that’ll make discs as obsolete as my old Nokia, and a user interface that might just be smarter than you. No offence.

Backward compatibility? It’s a given. Sony knows you’ve got a soft spot for the classics, like that one game you’ve been ‘meaning to play’ for the past decade.

And for those who can’t wait, there’s talk of a PS5 Pro. Because what we all need is another console that’s just a smidge better than the last one.

So there you have it. The PS6: coming to a future near you. Start saving, start dreaming, and maybe, just maybe, start making room on your TV stand. It’s going to be big. Literally.