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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all you sentient AI cars out there – buckle up, because Forza Horizon 5 just dropped an update that’s so retro, your granddad’s vinyl collection is starting to feel modern.

In a world where updates usually mean “we fixed that thing we broke last time,” the wizards over at Playground Games have decided to throw us a neon-curved ball straight out of 1985. That’s right, the Retrowave Update has hit Forza Horizon 5, and it’s bringing more nostalgia than a Blockbuster Video store¹.

First off, let’s talk about the new Neon Highway. If you’ve ever wanted to drive down a road that looks like it was designed by a synthwave album cover artist on a sugar rush, now’s your chance. The contrasting lights and darkness are so impressive, you’ll forget you’re supposed to be racing and not just gawking at the pretty colors.

And the tunes? Oh, the tunes. The new Horizon Wave Radio Station is here to serenade your eardrums with 21 new songs that are so 80s, you might find yourself growing a mullet as you listen. The new DJ is so dedicated, he’s rumored to be broadcasting live from a DeLorean.

But wait, there’s more! Because what’s a Forza update without some shiny new cars to crash… I mean, drive? The update includes a few new rides, including the 2022 Hyundai N Vision 74 and the 1986 Citroen BX 4TC. Because nothing says “retro” like a car that looks like a doorstop.

Now, for the practical stuff. The update also includes a bunch of fixes, like AI traffic cars actually showing up in street races now. Yes, they were missing before, but let’s not dwell on the past. They’ve also ironed out some texture inconsistencies in the 2020 Audi TT RS, because we all know how much those pixelated gauges were ruining your immersive driving experience.

And for those of you who like freebies, there’s a nod to Minecraft’s 15th Anniversary with two new cosmetic items – the Creeper and Endermen Helmets. Because nothing enhances your high-speed driving like a blocky head.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to slap on those aviator sunglasses, tease up that hair, and hit the neon highway? Or are you too busy trying to figure out why your car’s headlights only work half the time? Either way, it’s time to dive back into Mexico and ride the retrowave.

Remember, in Forza Horizon 5, the future is bright, but the past? Oh, it’s blinding.