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Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your sweetrolls, because ZeniMax Online has just dropped a claim that’s hotter than the forges of Red Mountain. In a world where game studios pop out sequels like they’re on a factory line, ZeniMax Online has declared themselves the Picassos of the Pixel World.

Narrative Director Bill Slavicsek, the man who probably has “I create worlds” on his business card, boldly states that after a decade of nurturing their MMORPG baby, Elder Scrolls Online (ESO), they’ve essentially birthed the equivalent of more than 10 single-player games. That’s right, while you were busy waiting for the next big solo adventure, ZeniMax was quietly constructing a digital empire that could rival the Septim Dynasty.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Scotty, isn’t comparing an MMO to single-player games like comparing apples to, well, a basket of assorted Tamrielic fruit?” And you’d be right. But here’s the kicker: ESO’s yearly updates aren’t just your run-of-the-mill DLCs; they’re roughly 30 hours of new story content¹. That’s like binge-watching a season of your favorite show, except you’re the hero, and there’s a 100% less chance of it being canceled after a cliffhanger.

And let’s talk about this year’s big expansion, Gold Road. It introduces a brand new Daedric Prince, which is a first in ESO’s history. Slavicsek and his team had to perform narrative acrobatics to fit this new character into the Elder Scrolls lore without rewriting the Daedric history books. It’s like sneaking an extra deity into Greek mythology without Zeus noticing.

So, as we stand in awe of ZeniMax’s claim to the throne of “Most Prolific AAA Game Studio,” let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer audacity. It’s not just about quantity; it’s about delivering a quality experience that keeps players coming back for more. And if Slavicsek’s confidence is anything to go by, they’re not just blowing smoke rings with their Skooma pipe.

In conclusion, whether you’re a die-hard fan or a skeptical onlooker, one thing is clear: ZeniMax Online isn’t playing games when it comes to… well, making games. They’ve set the bar high, and if they keep this up, we might just need a new word for ‘prolific’.

Elder Scrolls Online: Gold Road hits PC on June 3 and PS5, PS4, Xbox Series X/S, and Xbox One on June 18. So, mark your calendars, adventurers. It’s time to see if ZeniMax can truly walk the Gold Road they’ve paved with their ambitious claims.

Scotty McG signing off, may your load screens be short and your loot plentiful.