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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and gamers of all ages, brace yourselves for the latest skirmish in the great Console Wars. It’s a tale as old as time—or at least as old as when gaming consoles could handle more than a pixelated game of Pong. This time, it’s Stellar Blade vs Hellblade 2, because why enjoy one game when you can pit them against each other for eternal glory?

Hellblade 2 is out, and let me tell you, the reviews are popping up faster than toasts on a Sunday morning. The sequel to the 2017 title that had us all questioning our sanity is finally here, and it’s causing more buzz than a beehive in a flower shop. Released just a day ago, folks have been sprinting to their nearest digital storefronts, Game Pass or Steam, to grab a piece of the action.

But wait, there’s a twist! In a move that’s as surprising as finding out your grandma is a secret level 99 mage, Hellblade 2 has decided to play hard to get with PlayStation consoles. That’s right, it’s an Xbox and PC exclusive, and PlayStation fans are left staring longingly at their screens like a dog watching a steak on a high shelf.

Enter Stellar Blade, the new kid on the block with a name that sounds like it was chosen by throwing darts at a board of cool words. It’s a PS5 exclusive that’s been smashing records like a rock star in a hotel room. Pre-orders? Through the roof. Sales? Beyond expectations. Shift Up, the developers, are probably swimming in a pool of money like Scrooge McDuck right now.

So, what’s the verdict? Which game is better? Well, that’s like asking which is better: chocolate or vanilla? It’s all a matter of taste, but that doesn’t stop the gaming gladiators from entering the arena of review scores, armed with nothing but their opinions and a keyboard.

Stellar Blade had a release that was so explosive, it probably registered on the Richter scale. Meanwhile, Hellblade 2 was chilling on Game Pass from day one, lounging like it owned the place, with no traditional sales numbers to tally.

In the end, does it really matter which one’s better? Can’t we all just get along and enjoy the games? Nah, where’s the fun in that? Let the Console Wars rage on, and may the best pixels win!

So, grab your controllers, choose your side, and dive into the fray. Just remember, in the Console Wars, nobody truly wins—except maybe the popcorn vendors.

Scotty McG, signing off with a wink and a nudge. Game on, warriors!