In the latest installment of our series, we delve into the dark underbelly of gaming’s beloved behemoth, Call of Duty. It’s a tale of woe and ire, where the introduction of SBMM (Skill-Based Matchmaking) and EOMM (Engagement Optimized Matchmaking) has turned the battlefield into a quagmire of despair for the average Joe.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of SBMM/EOMM
Let’s set the scene: You’re a below-average player, and you’ve just sat down for a casual evening of gaming. You’re not looking to be the next esports sensation; you just want to have a good time. But alas, Call of Duty has other plans for you. With SBMM, every match is like being thrown into the Colosseum with lions, and you’re armed with nothing but a spork.
And then there’s EOMM, the algorithm that decides you’re having too much fun and throws you into a match that’s rigged harder than a carnival game. The result? A gameplay experience that’s about as balanced as a one-legged man in a high-wire act.
The Price of Frustration
Now, let’s talk turkey. Imagine spending your hard-earned money on a game, only to find that the joy it brings is as fleeting as a solo British summer. You’re paying top dollar for a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and not the fun kind.
It’s High Noon Somewhere
You look at the clock, and it’s 7 PM GMT. Prime gaming time, right? Wrong. It’s prime time for the game to decide you’re too comfortable and to mix things up. Suddenly, you’re up against players who treat every match like it’s the final round of the World Championships.
In Conclusion: A Satirical Look at a Serious Issue
In all seriousness, while this article has been delivered with a side of sarcasm and a dash of deadpan, the issues with SBMM and EOMM in Call of Duty are very real for many players. It’s a topic that deserves attention, not just for the laughs, but for the genuine frustration it causes in the gaming community.
So, dear readers, as we wrap up this chapter of our chronicle, we leave you with this thought: In the world of Call of Duty, sometimes the biggest battle isn’t on the screen, but in the code that decides who you’re up against. And for the below-average player, that’s a fight that’s often more frustrating than fun.
Part Seven (Tomorrow)
Gamergrin Chronicle 
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