In the world of independent video game development, where the coffee is strong and the deadlines are as flexible as a rubber band, Reuben Games has just hit the jackpot. They’ve been awarded a wad of cash from VicScreen’s Victorian Production Fund, which is basically like finding a golden ticket in your Wonka bar, except instead of a chocolate factory, you get to finish your video game.

Now, thanks to this financial windfall, the team can finally put the pedal to the metal and zoom towards the finish line for their upcoming title, “Dead Static Drive.” It’s like they’ve been given the last power-up they needed to defeat the final boss, except the boss is their own budget constraints.

Creative Director Mike Blackney was spotted doing a victory dance, saying, “I’m thrilled to receive this support to get the game finished, and make it everything we’ve dreamed of.” Rumour has it, he’s been dreaming of pixelated glory since 2014, and now it’s so close he can almost taste the binary code.

Leena van Deventer, the Creative Producer, chimed in with a sentiment that could warm the cockles of any gamer’s heart. “The VicScreen application process was rigorous and competitive,” she said, “and we’re proud our application was approved by a panel of our peers.” It’s like getting a high score and having the other arcade-goers nod in approval, except the arcade is a government funding body.

Caroline Pitcher, CEO of VicScreen, couldn’t contain her excitement either. “VicScreen is proud to support the talented team at Reuben Games,” she proclaimed. “From the irresistibly spooky storyline to the mesmerising graphics, audiences are set to be awestruck by Dead Static Drive.” It’s as if Melbourne is about to become the next Hollywood, but for games, and with less sun.

The game itself is a cocktail of horror, survival, and adventure, shaken not stirred, with a garnish of striking art style. Influenced by the likes of T. E. D. Klein, Gene Wolfe, & Ramsey Campbell, David Lynch, and William Eggleston, it’s shaping up to be the kind of game that has players sleeping with the lights on.

So, keep your eyes peeled and your controllers at the ready, because “Dead Static Drive” is coming to Xbox, Game Pass, and Microsoft Windows in Q3 2024. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll be waiting with bated breath and a stockpile of snacks. Game on, folks.

Please note that this article is a work of satire and should be taken with a pinch of salt, much like your gaming skills.