In a world where secrets are as well-kept as a sieve holds water, Sony’s latest attempt at confidentiality has gone about as well as you’d expect. In a move that’s shocked absolutely no one, Sony has taken down leaked specs of the so-called PS5 Pro – because nothing says “this is definitely not true” like a frantic scramble to hide the evidence.

Let’s set the scene: a YouTuber, who we’ll call ‘Deep Throat’ for the sake of nostalgia, drops a video faster than a hot potato, detailing the specs of the mythical PS5 Pro. Sony, in a display of subtlety akin to a bull in a china shop, issues a copyright takedown faster than you can say “Streisand Effect”.

And what do we, the ever-watchful public, do? We collectively raise an eyebrow and take a sip of our tea, because Sony’s actions have all but confirmed that these specs are as real as the Queen’s corgis. The specs, which were whispered to include a GPU with more teraflops than a rabbit has offspring, and a new in-house upscaling technology charmingly named PlayStation Spectral Super Resolution (PSSR), are now the talk of the town.

The timing, impeccable. Just as the world was starting to forget about the PS5 Pro, Sony has waltzed in with all the grace of a dad at a disco, and reminded us all that yes, they have something big under wraps. And by big, we mean potentially 45% faster rendering performance big.

In true deadpan style, we must tip our hats to Sony. If their goal was to generate buzz, they’ve succeeded with the finesse of a fireworks display in a library. Now, the only thing left to do is wait for the official announcement, which at this rate, will be about as surprising as finding out that water is wet.

So, here’s to you, Sony. Your secret’s out, and we’re all waiting with bated breath to throw our hard-earned pounds at whatever shiny new console you’ve got hidden up your sleeve. Just maybe let ‘Deep Throat’ off the hook, yeah? After all, they’ve done you a favour. In the meantime, we’ll be here, taking everything with a pinch of salt – and a side of chips.

Stay tuned, folks. The game is afoot, and the players are just getting warmed up.